Who am I fearing?
After Joseph Smith and Martin Harris lost the 116 pages transcribed from the gold plates, the gold plates and the urim and thumim were taken away from Joseph. The following account comes from Saints, volume 1.
"The words were reassuring, but they soon gave way to reproof. 'How strict were your commandments,' the Lord said. 'You should not have feared man more than God.'”
As I read this story today, I was reminded of a dream I had my freshman year of college. As I was walking along a path, I came across a magical tree. This tree had not been accessed for many, many years. As a result, it had gradually faded from holy, to merely uninteresting thing, to something forbidden and avoided at all costs.
As I approached the tree, I saw two signs on the tree. The first was old and worn, and it said that whoever reopens the tree will have wonderful powers. The second sign was placed to cover up the first, and in much brighter and bolder lettering stated that whoever opens up the tree "would be dealt with." As I read the two signs, I had a powerful feeling that I was the one meant to reopen the tree. So, I touched the tree and opened it, and climbed up a staircase inside the tree up to a platform higher up in the tree.
As I reached my new lookout, I looked around and saw an army coming towards me. I knew they were coming for me, but I was not afraid. As I watched them approach, words came into my mind as powerfully as if God himself were speaking to me. He said, "Ye should not fear these. Rather, ye should fear me." Then the dream ended.
I have often pondered on these words and found strength in them. But reading this story from Joseph Smith's life, I am seeing more meaning in that statements than before. The Lord told Joseph that he feared what others would think of him, but should have feared the Lord himself. I don't think it is meant solely to mean that he should be afraid of the Lord, or rather, the consequences he would suffer if he disobeyed the Lord. Rather, he should have understood and respected the Lord's plan, and trusted in his commandments.
The history continues, "He commanded Joseph to be more careful with sacred things. The record on the gold plates was more important than Martin’s reputation or Joseph’s desire to please people. God had prepared it to renew His ancient covenant and teach all people to rely on Jesus Christ for salvation."
Today, this had a huge impact on me. How many sacred things have I been entrusted with? What responsibilities have I been given? Who have I been given the opportunity to help, but neglected to help them come closer to Christ? I have led a rather selfish life. I have definitely felt the spirit guiding me in my hobbies and in my career, but I have had moments where I prefer to just do my own thing, like reading an attention-grabbing novel instead of reaching out to members in need.
Who am I fearing? Am I fearing what others will think of me? Am I fearing how I will feel if I miss out on a fun book? Or am I fearing the work of God, helping others to come unto Christ?